Dear Amtrak,

WHAT THE FUCK? First, you make me wait two hours and forty-five minutes for our goddamn train, and then you tell me you are going to "fine" me for not making a reservation? You're worried I'm a terrorist? Are you shitting me? I will tell you this right now: YOU WILL NEVER, FOR THE ENTIRE REMAINING FUTURE OF YOUR COMPANY, HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT TERRORISM! Nobody is going to hijack a train because it's on a FUCKING TRACK! Unless someone develops a magical track-laying device which allows one to build train track right into important buildings, you have nothing to worry about! FUCK!

Also, what the hell is this bullshit half-hour stop in New Haven with the lights off? I can't believe I'm sitting in your goddamn train for a half hour in the dark when I could be at home having a hot threeway with my dogs ladyfriends. This is the very definition of ricockulousness.