Monday, September 18, 2006

Why My Generation Is Going To Fuck Up The World Tribute: Past Generation Edition!

People need to stop feeling pride in their age. There is nothing good about being older or younger than someone, it's an arbitrary number, and you sound like a fool when you insult people for their age.

Same thing goes for race. You shouldn't hate people due to their race, but you shouldn't feel pride in your race. I feel no pride for my Finnish background; they invented the kickass Molotov Cocktail, but I have nothing to do with that, so it doesn't concern me. You shouldn't feel "pride" from simply existing as an "aZn" or "AFRICAN!" GODDAMN IT YOU ARE PROUD OF DOING NOTHING!

So, Parents: stop telling your kids to be proud of being something they had no part in. If your kid starts talking about DANISH PRYDE! I want you to stick a funnel in his mouth and start pouring in bleach until he starts having a seizure. Kids: if you have to be proud of something (I still don't understand this), just start filling up a jar of your bodily waste. Leave it out in the sun until the toenails start growing on their own, then mail it to your local congressman. Maybe he'll be so touched that he'll change his mind on one of those pesky amendments, like XVI. That whole "without regard to any census or enumeration" thing was way off.

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