Or "The Fart Heard 'Round the World"
I think I can safely say this is the proudest I've ever been in my life. First of all, I've never even had one come out as a visible bubble before, so that was a pleasant surprise. Second, I can't believe I was able to jump inside of it without it breaking.
It started to lift off the ground. I guess sulfur is lighter than air. I don't know if that's true or not, but I'll buy it. Maybe the atmosphere in New York City is different from normal air, because of all the gases coming from the decomposing corpses of the hobos Giuliani had "taken care of." Who knows? I'm no scientist.
The bubble was a watery-brown color, but it was also pretty transparent, so people could see that I was naked inside of it. It started floating down the street, right through Times Square. (My dad works at the New York Times, I was visiting him at work when it happened. Did I mention that it started in the newsroom? It was pretty loud and blew papers off tables all over the room, and somebody yelled "Stop the presses!" It started to fly out the window so I ran and dove into it. It turns out the presses did stop, but not because of the seriousness of the news, but because the shockwaves from the emission destroyed them.)
By the way, did I mention the smell? It was tremendous! It was like the Sasquatch had feast upon the Loch Ness monster's maggot infested corpse, and then barfed it all over Godzilla's dick. I couldn't stop vomiting, and it kept falling through the bubble. I think that's called a "semi-permeable membrane." Hey, maybe there's hope for that science degree yet.
Anyway, people were screaming and pointing up at me, and I was waving and vomiting at them. It was the most happy I had ever been. I flew over all of the landmarks: the Statue of Liberty (My vomit melted off her robes. It turns out she's just a glowing green, metal skeleton underneath it all, not a naked woman.), Ground Zero (I tried to salute but I was still having a hard time with all the vomiting.), the building where they filmed Ghostbusters, all the important stuff.
When I made it to the Empire State Building, of course it popped, and my vomit rampage was over. The crowds cheered for a few seconds, but they didn't realize the smell had been released. Then they did.
And that's how I killed New York City.
Writing prompt courtesy of Jaleel White's Blog.