Monday, August 28, 2006

The Bald Truth, Part II

Patrick Stewart is famous for his many awesome roles, such as Professor Xavier in the X-Men Movies, and some guy on some space show. He's currently working on a movie where he can control things with the power of his mind, but not in a comic book world, but the real world. It seems mostly to be just him seeing women without their clothes -- "I do other stuff, like, I'm riding my bike on the grass, and a police woman comes up and she says 'Oy! You can't ride your bike on the grass,' and I say, 'Oh no?' and suddenly all her clothes fall off and she tries to cover up but I've seen everything. Anyway, and I get up on my bike and I ride off. On the grass."
Mike Piazza tries to hide it, saying "It's a league requirement that I wear this HAT® (Hair Alternative Treatment)!" but we all know he's just fakin' it. He held a press conference in 2002 solely to tell the world that he wasn't gay, then, a few years later, slammed it in everyone's face by marrying a Playboy Playmate. Said Mike Piazza, "I ain't no queer."Konnan, or K-Dawg, as he is often known, is, without a doubt, the greatest wrestler of all time. I don't think I need to say anything else, besides, "Yo yo yo, let me speak on this! ├ôrale! Ariba la rasa! Yeah you know K-Dawg and the nWo Wolfpack Red & Black Attack be bout it bout it and--" (holds mic to the crowd, who responds with, "ROWDY ROWDY! AHHHHHHHH")
Now, let's not forget about the greatest monster of all time: Adolf Hitler. Was he bald? I don't think so.

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